Yesterday Terry and I accompanied our niece, his late sister’s daughter to chemotherapy in St. Louis. During our visit with Ima Lee, Terry and she had a heart to heart conversation that addressed the many “elephants in the room”. While I know the late into the night talk dredged up old hurts, misunderstandings, and almost 30 lost years, it also cleared the air in ways that I hope will lead to greater openness and healing. Sometimes wounds require lancing to let the poison drain before healing can take place.
Our niece has suffered many losses in her life. Her Dad died in an automobile accident before her first birthday and her mother died when she was 16 after 3 long years battling cancer. But what happened in the wake of both losses drove a wedge of mistrust and alienation in the whole family. That is not my story to tell, but I do know now that the way I responded, which was to let go, was wrong. I should have grabbed on tight and said I am not turning loose no matter how much you kick and scream. I should have stepped boldly forward and not slunk meekly back out of my niece and her siblings lives.
In She Reads Truth, we have been studing women in the Bible. Yesterday and today focussed on Esther. She faced an opportunity to save her people because of her position as Queen, but the opportunity carried the risk of losing her life. Her uncle urged her by saying (Carolyn’s paraphrase), “Don’t think you are safe, little lady, just because you are Queen, this death warrant includes you. But if you don’t, God will raise up someone who will. Besides, did you ever think that you are where you are for such a time as this?”
Esther responded as I should have done all those years ago, “I will go. If I perish, I perish.” She went to the King. I did not go to my niece. In spite of me, she found her feet, married, raised a beautiful daughter and will soon be a grandmother. BUT I lost all that time with her, Terry and I lost all that time.
Cancer took her mom from us all and cancer brought us back together. I am praying with the assurance of Christ’s healing hand that she will kick Cancer’s butt and we will have many years to celebrate life together
Words for today:
No matter where we are
No matter how we got here
No matter to us, but it matters to God
God can do His work without me
But where I am, who I am Matters and has purpose
Purpose to bless. purpose to do His will
Perhaps I am where I am, who I am, with the resources I have
For such a time as this
If I fail to act, speak, do
The Blessing will float away on the winds of my fear and indecision.
I will not be lost
All will not be lost
But the moment in time when I could have experienced
God’s Grace flowing through me
will be swept away with the continuous advancement of time.
And no matter how much I want it back that time will be gone.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15, 16 NIV)http://shereadstruth.com/category/shereadstruth/